Some people believe in love at first site and some people believe in lust at first sight. Which is it? Can you love someone the first time you meet them? I really don’t think so. When you meet someone for the first time you aren’t actually meeting them, you’re meeting their representative. Everyone has flaws and everyone tries to hide them, especially in a new relationship. I have had friends go on one date and tell me “He’s the one!’. A few months later she’s moved into his apartment and they’re contemplating on what color poodle to get. A few months later she’s on my couch crying because she doesn’t understand where it went wrong. She reminisces on the first date when they fell in love. At this point we can clearly conclude that amnesia has set in.
First Date: the first meeting between two people who are attracted to each other in which the MAN BUYS DINNER (you are not allowed to go to McDonald’s and use a coupon).
Let me just say this for all you women out there. I see nothing wrong with a man using a coupon as long as he is taking you somewhere nice and thoughtful. To me, this says he is fully aware of how important saving money is and he’s probably got a nice little nest egg. (Of course, this is my personal opinion. I’m not expecting you to agree but I would like you to keep an open mind.)
Now, let’s get back to the real action. So can anyone guess what went wrong? Let’s do a replay of the first date. Obviously there was some serious chemistry going on that lead to a more intimate first date. As women, we have to be extremely careful on the first date. Like I said before, first dates include representatives not real people. Don’t ever go on a first date and think you’re in love. It’s a natural reaction for human beings to mask flaws and insecurities. The person you think you’re in love with may not be the person you were actually on a date with. We all have flaws and we don’t want to be exposed on the first date so we keep up a front. There is a reason why you date before you get married or move in with someone. It’s through the full dating process that you begin to learn more about one another and become more comfortable. You need to be sure that you know this person inside and out. When you become more comfortable walls start to come down. When your partner starts to break down his/her walls this allows you to see who they really are. If you’re paying attention you will notice things that may or may not be the qualities you’re looking for.
There are always signs but women get so wrapped up in what they think they want that they completely miss them. I’m not saying break ups are just the fault of the woman but I think our amnesia prevents us from protecting our own interests. First dates are for general information and to test out chemistry. Don’t make it too personal just talk about basics. You need to offer enough of yourself so your date feels comfortable opening up. Don’t talk about marriage, kids, or anything that might be controversial. And if I catch any of you having sex on the first date I will ban you from this blog.
Bottom Line: Keep the first date simple yet make him want more. No matter how strongly you feel about your date you need to pace yourself. If you move too fast you’ll end up missing important signs along the way that may be a warning of the dangers ahead. Don’t reminisce on past relationships but just REMEMBER what you learned and apply it to the next.
No comments:
Post a Comment